How can someone that
you've never met before
touch your life in such a
way that it will never be
the same? What kind of
person can do that?
.....who else but a
faceless friend ....an
online friend. A
friendship that literally
brought me to the very
edge in abandoning this
site ....and just...
walking away.
Approximately
three years ago I
received an email from
someone wanting a
"Bible". (We
were offering free Bibles
at the time on The Last
Day Warriors site)
"Goldie" sent
an online request and
noted the address to
where we should send it.
I
purchased the Bible over
the weekend and felt very
compelled to include a
brief note. I simply
wrote on a sheet of
paper, "If you need
someone to talk with,
pray with or someone just
to listen, we are
here!" And in the
mail it went!
Approximately a week
later I received an email
from Goldie stating that
she had received her
Bible. Which also began
the beginning of our
internet friendship.
We began emailing each
other 3-4 times a week.
She explained that she
had fallen away from the
Lord and was trying to
find her way back. Goldie
Shiflett was diagnosed
with congestive heart
disease and was waiting
for a heart transplant.
She sounded so very
hopeful that she would
get it.
Many late nights, like
tonight, I would be
working on this website
and she would be up,
emailing me. When Goldie
typed she used ALL CAPS.
Example:
DEAR KRIS,
HOW ARE
YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I
CAN'T SLEEP!!!! I WENT TO
THE MALL TODAY AND THEN I
WENT OUT TO EAT AT RED
LOBSTER!!!
Her caps didn't bother
me. Most people would
say, "don't type in
caps unless you're
yelling." This was
just Goldie.
Our friendship went on
for 3 years. I got to
know her, she got to know
me. We learned about one
another's family and our
likes and dislikes.
Sometimes she would sign
her letters, Love, the
Goldfish. So...I started
signing mine, Love, the
KrisFish
We spoke so many times
about heaven and dying
and just being in the
presence of God. We made
a promise that whoever
reached heaven first
would greet the other
when they arrived. We
knew that we would
recognize each other
immediatley, ...tho sight
unseen.
We probably emailed one
another hundreds of
times. We did talk on the
phone several times. It
was very emotional for
me. Goldie lived in
Carlton, Michigan and
there were many many
times she was rushed to
the hospital due to her
failing condition.
For me it was very
frustrating being so far
apart from her and not
being able to be there
with her. I would call
and talk with her and
reassure her that I was
with her in my thoughts
and prayers.
Goldie had so many joys
in her life. She loved
her children dearly and I
could expect news and the
latest happenings about
each and everyone of them
in her emails to me. The
love she had for Gary,
the heartbeat in her
life, was just
astounding. She always
wrote letters to me
praising him because he
had stayed with her
during these trying
times. She cherished her
grandchildren so very
much and was always
telling me funny things
they said to her.
When she was admitted to
the hospital they would
either call or email me
to let me know.
Goldie was eventually
taken off the waiting
list for a heart
transplant due to other
medical conditions. ...
She got to the point that
even in spite of that,
she gripped Gods promises
and embraced her faith
with such a passion.
I love to go into work
early before anyone else
comes in. Its my quiet
time for reading the
emails that I'm sent.
One morning I came in,
unlocked all the offices,
switched on the coffee
pot, fired up my pc and
turned on the radio.
ahhhh there is nothing
like a quiet morning to
get the day going.
"I Can Only
Imagine", by Mercy
Me came on the radio as I
began reading my email.
Ahhh a letter from
Goldie's daughter Holly!
Holly had written me to
let me know that her Mom
had passed away. I sat
there numb. Total
disbelief. There was no
way! But in my heart, I
knew it was true. My head
went back and I cried
out,
"nooooooooooooooooo".
I sobbed and sobbed and
sobbed.
For weeks and weeks I
could not get past the
grief. I knew Goldie was
in heaven. I knew that,
but "I" wanted
her HERE!
The grief and dispair was
sooooooo heavy that I
couldn't even do anything
with this site. The
sorrow came, and then the
anger came. I got angry
with myself and blamed
myself for opening my
heart wide open! It got
so bad that I even
thought about sending out
one standard email to
every friend that I had
met online. Simply put,
"Quit writing me. If
you die.... I won't be
able to handle it."
I didn't think I would
ever be able to work on
this site again. The more
I sat immobilized, the
more I could hear Goldie
saying, "You know
this is what you were
made for. If it wasn't
for this site we never
would have met and I
wouldn't have rededicated
my life to Jesus. You
CAN'T walk away!"
(All in caps of course.)
It seemed like months
before the tears would
ever stop. But they did.
Writing this part of the
Reading Room .... was
very hard. I put it off
because I knew it would
be an emotional entry for
me. And the tears would
flow again.
Roughly 3
weeks ago I took a much
needed vacation.
Have you
ever saved email to a
folder and then you
...you just literally
forget about it? Well,
prior to going on
vacation I started going
through those folders.
There was an email from
Goldie. Again, here it
was a late night and I'm
reading email from her. I
had to smile. As I read
it, she began thanking me
for everything that I had
done for her. She thanked
me for helping her to
find Jesus again and for
just for being there for
her through her trials.
It was rather lengthy and
I read each word
carefully. The last line
that she wrote said,
"Kris, enjoy your
vacation, you deserve
it."
And again....the tears
....just....flowed.
I love you GoldFish and I
miss you more than you'll
ever know.
KrisFish
XXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOO
Gabriel
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