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Goldie LeAnn Shiflett

09.30.04

How can someone that you've never met before touch your life in such a way that it will never the same? What kind of person can do that? .....who else but a faceless friend ....an online friend. A friendship that literally brought me to the very edge in abandoning this site and just... walking away.

Approximately three years ago I received an email from someone wanting a "Bible". (We were offering free Bibles at the time on The Last Day Warriors site) "Goldie" sent a one line request and noted the address to where we should send it.

I purchased the Bible over the weekend and felt very compelled to include a brief note. I simply wrote on a sheet of paper, "If you need someone to talk with, pray with or someone just to listen, we are here!" And in the mail it went! Approximately a week later I received an email from Goldie stating that she had received her Bible. Which also began the beginning of our internet friendship.

We began emailing each other 3-4 times a week. She explained that she had fallen away from the Lord and was trying to find her way back. Goldie Shiflett was diagnosed with congestive heart disease and was waiting for a heart transplant. She sounded so very hopeful that she would get it.

Many late nights, like tonight, I would be working on this website and she would be up, emailing me. When Goldie typed she used ALL CAPS. Example:

DEAR KRIS,

HOW ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T SLEEP!!!! I WENT TO THE MALL TODAY AND THEN I WENT OUT TO EAT AT RED LOBSTER!!!

Her caps didn't bother me. Most people would say, "don't type in caps unless you're yelling." This was just Goldie.

Our friendship went on for 3 years. I got to know her, she got to know me. We learned about one another's family and our likes and dislikes.

Sometimes she would sign her letters, Love, the Goldfish. So...I started signing mine, Love, the KrisFish

We spoke so many times about heaven and dying and just being in the presence of God. We made a promise that whoever reached heaven first would greet the other when they arrived. We knew that we would recogize each other immediatley,...tho sight unseen.

We probably emailed one another hundreds of times. We did talk on the phone several times. It was very emotional for me. Goldie lived in Carlton, Michigan and there were many many times she was rushed to the hospital due to her faltering conditition.

For me it was very frustrating being so far apart from her and not being able to be there with her. I would call and talk with her and reassure her that I was with her in my thoughts and prayers.

Goldie had so many joys in her life. She loved her children dearly and I could expect news and the lateste happenings about each and everyone of them in her emails to me. The love she had for Gary, the heartbeat in her life, was just astounding. She always wrote letters to me praising him because he had stayed with her during these trying times. She cherished her grandchildren so very much and was always telling me funny things they said to her.

When she was admitted to the hospital they would either call or email me to let me know.

Goldie was eventually taken off the waiting list for a heart transplant due to other medical conditions. ... She got to the point that even in spite of that, she gripped Gods promises and embraced her faith with such a passion.

I love to go into work early before anyone else comes in. Its my quiet time for reading the email that I'm sent.

One morning I came in, unlocked all the offices, switched on the coffee pot, fired up my pc and turned on the radio. ahhhh there is nothing like a quiet morning to get the day going.

"I Can Only Imagine", by Mercy Me came on the radio as I began reading my email. Ahhh a letter from Goldie's daughter Holly!

Holly had written me to let me know that her Mom had passed away. I sat there numb. Total disbelief. There was no way! But in my heart, I knew it was true. My head went back and I cried out, "nooooooooooooooooo". I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

For weeks and weeks I could not get past the grief. I knew Goldie was in heaven. I knew that, but "I" wanted her HERE!

The grief and dispair was sooooooo heavy that I couldn't even do anything with this site. The sorrow came, and then the anger came. I got angry with myself and blamed myself for opening my heart wide up! It got so bad that I even thought about sending out one standard email to every friend that I had met online. Simply put, "Quit writing me. If you die.... I can't handle it." I didn't think I would ever be able to work on this site again. The more I sat immobilized, the more I could hear Goldie saying, "You know this what you were made for. If it wasn't for this site we never would have met and I wouldn't have rededicated my life to Jesus. You CAN'T walk away!" (All in caps of course.)

It seemed like months before the tears would ever stop. But they did. Writing this part of the Reading Room .... was very hard. I put it off because I knew it would be an emotional entry for me. And the tears flow again.

Roughly 3 weeks ago I took a much needed vacation.

Have you ever saved email to a folder and then you you just literally forget about it? Well, prior to going on vacation I started going through those folders.

There was an email from Goldie. Again, here it was a late night and I'm reading email from her. I had to smile. As I read it, she began thanking me for everything that I had done for her. She thanked me for helping her to find Jesus again and for just for being there for her through her trials. It was rather lengthy and I read each word carefully. The last line that she wrote said, "Kris, enjoy your vacation, you deserve it."

And again....the tears ....just....flowed.

I love you GoldFish and I miss you more than you'll ever know.

KrisFish
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