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Reading Room Titles
The
Loss of A Child
Losing a child
under ANY circumstances is
absolutely devastating.
Regardless of whether the
child is 1 month in your
womb, 2 years old, 10 years
or 50 years old....it's
devastating.
Many people do
not feel that a child is a
"child" until they
are actually born. I firmly
and strongly disagree with
this. So does God.
Why?
Because...God tell us, that
He knew us from the time we
were in the womb, before we
were even born.
When I was
carrying my son, six weeks
into my pregnancy it was
discovered that I was
carrying twins. Within five
minutes, I found out that not
only was I carrying TWO
children, but that I was also
going to lose one child. One
of the children was attached
to my tube.
Everything
happened so very quickly. The
doctor made it clear that I
had to have surgury
immediatley because my life
was in jeopardy. I was given
just enough time to call my
husband to inform him that he
needed to come to the
hospital immediately. I was
escorted to surgury by two
nurses. One on each side of
my bed. The anestethic was
starting to make me very
tired. But not too tired to
where I didn't hear one say
to other, "do you think
we should call a clergy man
in?" I intervened and
said, "I DON'T THINK
SO!" I couldn't
understandy why they were
discussing matters as though
I were going to die! It just
didnt make any sense!
Sometime after
surgery, I was released to go
home. I was off work for six
weeks due to the surgery. One
afternoon, in the quietness
of my day "things"
began sinking in. I had come
to the full realization that
I almost died. More
importantly...I realized that
I was not going to behold the
face of the child I lost in
this lifetime.
My heart began
to sink. I couldn't
understand why God would give
me two children...and take
one away! GOD! WHAT HAD I
DONE THAT WAS SO BAD!
Other women have 2 and 3
children...and everything
goes well! Here I am, an
absolute lover of children
and cherisher of their
souls...and I lost one!
Lord...I don't understand.
I grieved the
loss of this child for
months. My husband would find
me in the bedroom
crying...and I just couldn't
tell him the pain I was going
through. I couldn't even talk
about it! I would say,
"nothing is wrong..I'm
fine!" He never pushed
for answers.
One day,
again, he walked into the
bedroom, only to find me
crying...again. He walked
over and said,
"honey...what is
wrong?" I looked at him
through the tears pouring
down my face and
sobbed.."I don't
understand why God took one
of our children. I DON'T
UNDERSTAND IT!!!" My
husband knows how very much I
love children. He shared my
pain so gently.
God spoke to
my heart just to let me know
that the child I lost...was
NOT lost....the child was
with HIM! That brings such
comfort to my soul. I know
that no one can watch over a
child better than our Father.
Knowing that God holds my
child in His hand allows me
to go on.
Celebrating
our sons birthday is joy,
because he IS a miracle! When
we all stand around and sing Happy
Birthday it takes every
bit of energy within me not
to cry...as I stand there and
remember the child that isn't
here with us too. And each
birthday, at one moment
during that day...I will find
a quiet place to release the
tears...again. I long to hold
that child...and I will...one
day...in heaven.
Love, Mom
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